If I went back in time, to 2001, and gave myself a warning, would I have listened?
“You have a good life right now, all is going well. Your future looks great, BUT keep your ego in check and your priorities focused on the truly important things. If you don’t, you stand to lose all you have achieved, and you’ll end up in prison.“
The younger me would’ve said I was crazy because “I know what’s important – my children, my family, my career – and besides, I would never do anything illegal.”
And yet that’s exactly what happened.
It’s normal to desire more and better things, right? In my case I was living in one of the most exciting cities in the US, I had a great house, and had a fantastic and well paying career. I could afford to indulge.
Wasn’t it normal to seek greater financial independence? I had 3 children and was destined to have 2 more. There will be college for the children, and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life working, maybe retire early. I told myself that I was securing our family’s future.
Aren’t these some of the benefits of being successful? Wasn’t it normal to want a fulfilling personal life? Isn’t that what everyone desired? Didn’t I deserve the same?
By 2003 my priorities were slowly shifting away from what had served me well for years. I wouldn’t see how far off course I had gone until much later.
Between 2003 and 2005 there were some significant life changes. I got remarried, I became a father to a beautiful boy and girl (adding to the 3 wonderful boys from marriage #1), we relocated to Oklahoma, and I left my long time position in advertising to focus my time on the children and family.
Things were good?
By 2006 there were cracks in the facade. My spouse (former) was being sued angry investors. I would ask questions but I accepted any explanation I was given to avoid confrontation. When my parents, siblings and friends starting reaching out to me in concern, I disregarded them. I was allowing these important personal relationships, that had been my reality checks in the past, to wither. I couldn’t accept their concerns were legitimate.
One night in 2007 something inside told me to ‘just walk away’. But I was terrified of losing all that I thought I possessed. I ignored the reality staring me in the face.
Instead of walking away, I doubled down. I was determined to fix, what was in reality, an ‘unfixable’ situation. This was a disastrous decision; a decision that made me an accomplice to a white collar crime. It ultimately led to my 2014 indictment, and 2015 guilty plea to one count of wire fraud.